


say what’s on your mind (i couldn’t be more in love)

by choose_your_emotions



Series: Adventures with the PolyIdiots™ [4]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Communication, Disney Movies, Domestic Fluff, Embarrassment, Fluff, Healthy Relationships, Light Angst, Little, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, No Smut, Non-Sexual Age Play, Shy Calum Hood, we STAN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 19:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30009525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choose_your_emotions/pseuds/choose_your_emotions
Summary: Calum struggles with the newfound aspect of his headspace, but thankfully Ryan and Ashton are here to give him love and snuggles.ORa sequel to"i must get 'round to it (a crazy little thing called love)"
Relationships: Calum Hood/Ashton Irwin/Original Character(s), Luke Hemmings & Calum Hood, Sierra Deaton/Luke Hemmings
Series: Adventures with the PolyIdiots™ [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172429
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	say what’s on your mind (i couldn’t be more in love)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "I Couldn't Be More in Love" by The 1975
> 
> This took so long jfc
> 
> "i wanna get back [...]" has been declared finished, and the next thing on my list is making a collection of firsts for these dorks! My finals end this next week, and then I'm free from school to write some more. Hopefully, I'll be quicker about it lmao
> 
> This is for the anon on tumblr who wanted more little space fluff. Hope you enjoy, darling!
> 
> (takes place directly after "i must get 'round to it [...]")

Calum thrashes slightly where he’s held between Ryan and Ashton. Normally, he’d be thrilled to wake up between his two favorite people, but he woke up clutching one of Ryan’s dog plushies for a reason he doesn’t entirely know.

A sinking feeling in his stomach says he does, he just doesn't want to think about it.

He's already embarrassed by how he reacted the other day- the moment he felt himself tear up is on loop in his brain- and the added embarrassment of how he acted like a little kid isn't helping.

His eyes sting with unshed tears, and he feels a sob tear out of his mouth. He immediately muffles it with his hand, but it's too late.

"Cal?" A tired mumble comes from his side.

The knowledge that he woke one of them up just makes him cry harder.

"Oh, baby," The smaller hand strokes up and down his stomach. "Everythin' is okay, sweetheart. We love you so much, honey. So good for us."

Calum feels a shiver go down his back, and he attempts to hide his face in Ryan's neck.

The other hand on his stomach flexes a bit, and Ashtom grumbles as he wakes.

"Wha-" Ashton mumbles. "Why're 'ya crying, Cally?"

A surge of frustration rises in him. "Don't call me Cally," he mumbles into Ryan's neck.

"Calum," Ryan says sternly. 

Calum whimpers involuntarily. ""m not a fucking child."

"Cal," Ashton shuffles close enough to plaster his front against Calum's back. "If this is about the littlespace thing, you don't-"

"I don't have a fucking-" Calum huffs, shaking off his partners as he sits up and throws the dog plushie to accentuate his next words- “little space!” He sees the plushie hit the wall near their closet before falling to the ground. That doesn't make him want to cry. 

He's not seven, he knows stuffed animals don't have feelings.

"Calum," Ryan says. "Are you angry, or frustrated?"

Calum sighs, rubbing a hand down his face. Ryan struggles with tone- their own, and interpreting others'- and he’s known that the entire time he’s known them. Ryan had been shy about asking him about the nuances in his voice at first, but Calum always answered without hesitation.

"Sorry, babe. I'm... Frustrated? I think?" He groans. "I don't know, my head's all jumbled."

"Do you know why you're feelin' frustrated, bub?" Ryan asked.

Calum's shoulders tensed at the nickname. "I- it's embarrassing."

"Cal, there's nothing to be embarrassed about," Ashton replies, tucking his chin into Calum's shoulder.

"I act like a little kid when I'm stressed out," Calum huffs. "I cried when I felt left out yesterday! Why can't I just have sex like a normal person?!"

"Hate to break it to you, baby," Ryan comments amusedly, "but you already don't."

"But, lately, it's all just been making my head feel all fuzzy," Calum groans.

"Sex?" Ryan asks.

Calum nods, his head in his hands. 

"I know you don't want to consider it," Ashton says quietly. "But littlespace is often triggered when you're stressed, or frustrated."

Calum sighs. "Even if I do, why would I have been getting this feeling after sex for weeks?"

"If you resist going into it, it often makes you feel more stressed," Ashton explains. "If you encounter whatever encourages that headspace frequently, and keep putting it off, you might just be making yourself more frustrated."

Calum was quiet. "Ok, fine. Say I do have a littlespace. How do I know what... triggers it, I guess, so I can avoid those in public?"

"Praise is one of them," Ryan pipes up. "Can't tell if it's Ash's poetic bullshit specifically, or just in general, though."

"Hey!"

Calum snorts. "They're not wrong. You called me divine, Ash.  _ Divine _ ."

"I'll stop if you want," Ashton huffs.

"I do not."

"Singin' helped, too,” Ryan pipes up. "Or, at least, bein' sung to."

Calum nods. "So I just need to avoid that stuff."

"Not constantly," Ashton replies. "Like I said, resisting it makes it worse."

"It's not  _ resisting  _ if I avoid the causes," Calum pouts.

"I think that's the  _ definition  _ of resistance, Calum-"

"Hey," Ryan interrupts, tilting his chin towards them and up. “Remember what you’ve told me hundreds of times? I love you  _ for  _ your weird head stuff, baby, not despite it.”

“I love you, too, Ry,” Calum murmurs.

“So… none of us have anythin' to do today. If you’re okay with it, we can explore more of how this-" They tap Calum's temple, "-works.”

Calum looks at the sheets for a moment before nodding at them.

Ryan grins brightly. "Perfect. I have an idea,” They leap out of bed. "You stay there and look pretty, baby boy."

Calum felt himself blush. "Yes, daddy," he mumbles, suddenly feeling shy.

Ryan looks to the bedside table and hums. "Gonna make a surprise for you, a'right bubba?"

Calum nods, feeling like his brain is turning to fuzzy static.

Ryan grabs one of the silky lengths from the bedside table and holds in their hands. "Can I blindfold you, baby?"

Calum hesitates.

"You're not gonna get left alone," Ryan soothes. "One of us will always be there, sugar."

Calum nods. 

"I'm gonna ask again, bub," Ryan says, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I need you to answer with words, hon. Can I blindfold you?"

"Yes, daddy," Calum replies. His face burns as his old lisp re-emerges.

"Don't be embarrassed, bubba," Ryan coos. "Daddy thinks you're so cute, baby. So good, all pretty and adorable for us."

Calum smiles shyly. 

"A'right, bubba," Ryan says, tying the length of silk around his head and eyes. "How does it feel? Words, bub."

"Feels perfect, daddy," Calum sighs, his cheeks still pink from his lisp.

The silk doesn't block out the light, so he can still see shadows of Ryan and Ashton, but they're hazy, as if they're floating in the fuzz of his head with him.

"You just sit there and look pretty, boys," Ryan hums, running a hand through Calum's hair.

Ashton tucks him into his side, petting over his hair and humming out a melody Calum's never heard before.

He feels himself falling deeper and deeper into the fuzz, the static becoming fluffy clouds on which he floats. 

This time, he doesn't resist.

* * *

When Ryan finishes up the surprise Calum is asleep, burrowed into Ashton’s arms, his hands tucked into his chest. They’ve let Duke out of his crate, and he takes a running leap onto the bed.

"I didn't take that long, did I?" Ryan groans.

"No, he's just a sleepy baby," Ashton says, giggling sweetly and petting Calum's growing curls. Duke clambers over their legs, sniffing at Calum’s face.

Ryan chuckles, unwrapping the length of silk from Calum's head.

"Cally?" They whisper. "Time to wake up, bubba."

Duke licks at Calum’s nose. Calum giggles sleepily, squirming a bit until he blinks open his eyes sleepily. He rubs at them with his fist. 

"There's our sleepy boy," Ryan coos. "C'mon, your surprise is in the living room, bub."

Calum immediately perks up. "Surprise?" He asks, the word jumbled by his lisp. His cheeks aren't pink with embarrassment when he hears it, so Ryan assumes he's given up on resistance. Duke perks up as well.

"It’s not anythin’ too extravagant," Ryan warns.

"I like surprises, Ren,” He replies, still sleepy-sounding.

Ryan raises their eyebrows, glancing at Ashton, who shrugs.

Ryan smiles at Calum. "C’mon, then, Cally."

They help him out of bed, strangely similar to when their younger brother was very little.

Except Calum is over six feet tall.

It’s a bit bizarre, but Ryan doesn’t really care. Calum immediately latches onto their arm.

Ashton stands from the bed, holding Calum’s other hand as Duke leaps off the bed to stand at their feet.

"Close your eyes, bubba," Ryan instructs.

Calum pouts. “But, Ren,” he whines. “I wanna see!”

"Well it isn't a surprise if you keep your eyes open!" Ashton chides softly. "I'll close my eyes with you, how's that."

Calum grins. “Okay, Dada!” He grabs Ashton’s hand before squeezing his eyes shut. Ashton blinks in surprise, locking eyes with Ryan.

This time, they shrug at him.

Ashon closes his eyes.

Ryan smiles at them.  _ God, I love my boys. _ They lead Calum and Ashton out to the living room before kissing Calum’s cheek.

“Okay, boys, you can open your eyes.”

They’re quite proud of the blanket fort they had constructed. Their TV was part of the structure, and Ryan had dug out the Disney movies that they’d collected from their grandparents’ house for the three of them to watch. They had also stuffed a good amount of the plushies from their stim toy collection into the fort for Calum to snuggle (and maybe a couple for Ryan, too). 

Calum gasps. He squeals in excitement. “Thank you, Ren!” He hugs Ryan tightly, smattering kisses on their head and cheeks.

Ryan laughs in delight. “I’m glad you like it, bug.”

Calum lets go of Ryan and grabs Ashton’s hand again. “C’mon, Dada!”

Ashton giggles as Calum pulls him into the fort. Ryan sets Duke down, following after them, their heart feeling like it would burst with happiness.

Calum immediately digs through the pile of plushies, searching for the dog one he threw earlier. Once found, he squeaks in delight, clutching the plushie to his chest. 

He then curls up on the floor, his head pillowed on Ashton’s thigh. Duke curls up between Ashton’s leg and Calum, and Calum giggles sweetly, moving the plushie so he can pet Duke.

“Want to watch a movie, Cally?” Ryan asks, shuffling over to the pile of cartoons.

Calum picks up his head in interest. “At-antis?” He murmurs, his eyes wide and pleading.

“Atlantis it is,” Ryan announces, putting in the disc.

Ashton and Ryan hold Calum in between them as the movie plays. Calum whimpers at some of the scarier scenes, but is quickly soothed by gentle hands in his hair or on his back.

As Calum is engrossed in the movie, Ryan quickly does some research on little space. They find various sites about items needed depending on the age of the little, responsibilities of caregivers, and the intricacies of managing a romantic relationship with someone who has a little space.

As the credits roll, soft snores can be heard. Calum is asleep, curled up on their thighs, the dog plushie exchanged for a loosely-held, snoring Duke and his thumb in his mouth.

“So, Ren, huh?” Ashton murmurs. 

“Yeah, I’m not sure.” Ryan runs their fingers gently through Calum’s hair. “I know the “daddy” thing is sexual for him, so maybe that’s our… caregiver names?”

“Littles perceive everything differently in little space,” Ashton says. “So it makes sense.”

“Maybe we can ask him later,” Ryan hums. “You think we need anything else for him? I saw some articles about getting like, binkies and bottles.”

“I think that all depends on age,” Ashton whispers. “When he’s little, Calum’s probably, what? Five to seven?”

“Sounds right,” Ryan nods. 

“Maybe he’d like binkies,” Ashton hums, nodding to Calum’s thumb in his mouth.

Ryan snorts. “Guess we’ll start a Baby Drawer.”

Ashton giggles softly. 

“I want to get him some stuffed animals of his own,” Ryan continues. “I’m afraid he might squish Duke, and he should have some that are  _ his _ , not just borrowing mine.”

Ashton nods. “I can order some stuff,” He says. “We should get Cally here to bed.”

Ryan snorts. “You think you can carry him?”

Ashton hums. He finds the dog plushie, carefully replacing Duke with it. He hands a now-awake Duke to Ryan, gently setting Calum’s head on a pillow before taking down the blanket hanging above them. He stands up fully, squatting down and then lifting Calum up, bridal-style.

“Jesus Christ,” Ryan groans. “This is not fair.”

Ashton giggles before heading off to the bedroom. Ryan trails behind them, looking back to the blankets covering their living room before shrugging. 

“We’ll deal with it tomorrow,” They mutter. “C’mon, Dukey, time for bed.”

Duke snuffles in their arms as they enter their bedroom, where Ashton is setting Calum down onto the bed.

Calum whines, blinking one eye open. “Ren? Dada?” He mumbles.

“Go back to sleep, bubba,” Ryan soothes, moving to the other side of the bed and setting Duke down. 

Calum makes a happy noise, setting the plushie off to the side to beckon to Duke. Duke clambers up his legs, curling up on Calum’s stomach. He giggles, petting Duke.

Ryan and Ashton settle into bed as well, tucking everyone under the covers.

* * *

Calum blinks his eyes open, sun shining through the blinds as he wakes up between his two favorite people.

Duke stands on his chest, sniffing at his face. Once he sees that Calum is awake, he starts wagging his tail and licking at his face.

Calum huffs. “Hi, Dukey,” He groans. “C’mon, let’s let you out, bud.”

Duke scrambles off the bed as Calum carefully clambers over Ryan’s legs.

He lets Duke out the back door, settling into his usual smoking chair. He glances at the pack of smokes that still sits on the table, but he feels no urging to grab one.

His muscles feel like they’re moving through water, his bones liquefied and relaxed.

He has  _ never  _ felt this relaxed before.

“Mornin’,” A voice hums as the screen door slides open again. Ryan steps out of the house. “You havin’ a cig?”

“Nope,” He replies, stretching his arms above his head. “I feel great.”

“Good,” Ryan hums, kissing the top of his head. “Yesterday really helped, huh.”

Calum sighs. “Yeah, it did. Did anything... weird happen?”

“Not really. I mean, you called me Ren,” Ryan says. “And Ash was ‘Dada.’”

Calum chuckles self-deprecatingly. “Sorry. Everything is just… all fuzzy when I get like that. Maybe you’re like my parents in little space.”

“They’re called ‘caregivers.’” Ryan scratches lightly at the crown of his head. “I did some research after you fell asleep. It’s nothin’ to be ashamed of, Cal.”

“I know,” He replies honestly. “I just. I know it’s kinda weird for you, trying to adjust to something else I call you.”

“I don’t mind,” Ryan replies. “I think I’d feel more uncomfortable if you still called me ‘daddy’ in little space.”

Calum snorts. “What, you don’t find me acting like a five year old attractive?”

“There are some caregivers who have sex with littles,” Ryan replies. “I don’t think me or Ash would be comfortable with that.”

Calum scrunches his nose. “I think that would be weird.”

Ryan nods. They sat in silence, watching Duke skitter around the yard.

“I thought of buying you some stuff,” Ryan says after a moment. “For when you’re feeling little.”

“... like what?” Calum asks.

“Pacifiers,” Ryan shrugs. “Stuffed animals. Blankets, maybe, and some toys. In the literal sense.”

Calum hums. “It feels weird to talk about this.”

“I know, baby,” Ryan replies, petting his head. “It’ll get easier.”

* * *

Ashton said he would make some calls, but Ryan was not expecting him to bring over Sierra and Luke.

It’s a few days after Calum’s initial slip into little space, and they had been fine for the past few days.

Today, Calum woke up in little space.

Ryan was struggling to get him to eat at the table as Calum squirms away from them.

“Na’t h’ngry,” Calum grumbles.

“You need to eat something, bubba,” Ryan sighs. “Wanna be a big boy, don’t you?”

Calum pauses, before sitting still and opening his mouth.

Ryan chuckles fondly. “Good boy, bub.”

Calum wiggles happily, chewing at the scrambled eggs Ryan spoons into his mouth.

Ashton peeks around the corner from the door. “Babe?”

Ryan tilts their head at him.

“Sierra and Luke are here,” Ashton explains.

“What are Sierra and Luke doin’ here?” Ryan asks. “We’re still on that stay-at-home order, Ash.”

“They’ll have masks on,” Ashton replies. “They brought stuff for Cally.”

“Stuff?” Calum mumbles, crumbs of eggs falling out of his mouth.

“No talkin’ with your mouth full, bub,” Ryan chides gently. “Chew, swallow, then talk, a’right?”

Calum nods, dutifully finishing his eggs. When he does, he grins and repeats, “Stuff?”

Ashton smiles. “Yep, Cally, Si and Lu have gifts just for you.”

Calum claps excitedly. “Yay! Thank you Dada!”

“Your Ren has to okay it first, though,” Ashton replies, smirking a bit.

“Please, Ren,” Calum pleads, pouting up at Ryan with big brown eyes. “Pleeeeeaaaase?”

Ryan sighs.  _ Damn puppy-dog eyes.  _ “A’right.”

Calum squeals, clapping.

Ashton smirks at them. Ryan glares.

Ashton simply slips back out the door to let Luke and Sierra in. Instead of a calm entrance, Luke stumbles in excitedly, a high-pitched giggle coming from their entry hall. 

“Cally!” Luke exclaims, his voice muffled by the mask.

Sierra follows behind him, her eyes crinkled. “Lu, what did I say?”

Luke looks like a scolded puppy. “Not to run off.”

Sierra clicks her tongue. “Mm-hmm. And what did you do?”

“I ran off,” Luke mumbles, his broad shoulders slumping. “Sorry, mommy.”

Ryan feels their eyebrows raise as Calum attempts to hide his face in their stomach. They look down, petting at his hair and the back of his neck. 

“How about you and Uncle Ash go set up in the living room, Lu,” Sierra instructs.

Luke’s eyes seem to sparkle as he nods, grabbing Ash’s hand and pulling him into the living room.

Ashton grins at Ryan as he passes, two bags in his hands.

“Hey, Ryan,” Sierra says, setting her bags down on the table. “Hi, Cally.”

Calum mumbles into Ryan’s shirt.

“He’s a bit shy,” Ryan explains. “We’re all still a bit new at this.”

Sierra nods in understanding. “Lu was really shy about it at first, too.”

“What’d you bring?” 

Sierra grins and begins sifting through the bags. “We’ve got some pacifiers, stuffies, I think Lu tucked in something special but I’m not sure what it was.”

Calum stares at a pacifier with great interest, still tucked into Ryan’s torso. Sierra hands it to Ryan with a knowing smile.

Ryan quickly opens the package, Calum lifting their head off of their torso in interest.

“Open up, bubba,” Ryan instructs, placing it into Calum’s mouth once he opens it. “Go play with Dada and Lu, okay, bub?”

Calum pouts a little around the pacifier.

“Ren and Auntie Sierra have some stuff to talk about, bug,” Ryan hums, petting at his hair. “Borin’ stuff. You’ll have a lot more fun with Lu and Dada.”

“Don’t wanna,” Calum mumbles, hiding in their torso again.

“Why not, bubba?”

“Lu,” Calum whines.

Ryan frowns. “What about Lu? Do you not want to pay with him, bub?”

“He’s gon’ make fun o’ me,” Calum grumbles. “For bein’ a baby.”

“Cally,” Ryan sighs. “Lu’s like you. He’s not gonna make fun of you, sugar.”

Calum looks up at them, eyes wide. “P’omise?”

“I promise, bubba.”

Calum scrambles away from the table and into the living room, his pacifier firmly in his mouth.

“He is the cutest thing,” Sierra coos. “Does he have a lisp?”

“A bit, yeah,” Ryan says, a sight tilt of the head. “He’s a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.”   
Sierra nods. “It’s a vulnerable thing.”   
“I’m really glad you’re here, Sierra,” Ryan groans. “I have no idea what I’m doin’.”

“You’re doing great far as I’ve seen,” Sierra replies. “The most important part of it is communication, Ry. You, Calum and Ash are like the poster children for a healthy, communicative relationship.”

Ryan laughs. “I still have a lot of questions.”

“And I’m here to answer them!”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments give me life!
> 
> Yell at me/give me prompts on tumblr [@ choose-your-emotions](https://choose-your-emotions.tumblr.com/)


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